Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
