I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just google imaged poop.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
