Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
