he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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