How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
