I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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