i think i have herpe
just one?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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