u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize