I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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