There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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