just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
