Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
