the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
