you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
