i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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