Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
