i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
