theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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