Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
