dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
