I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
