Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
A+ Viking dick
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize