Christians are straight up FREAKS
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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