repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
