Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
