Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
