It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize