she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize