Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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