she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
