Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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