he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
