She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
