If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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