When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
