I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
