My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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