i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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