some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
