Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
