how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
