peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
