areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
