I think my fart just growled at me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
