So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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