I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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