How'd it feel making her break her religion?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
