I think I am morally bankrupt
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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