Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
