New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
