That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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