In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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