then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
