I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Enjoy the penises
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
