Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
