Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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