I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
