Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
